Lea: Deangelo's words on his past ring hollow

By Chris Lea, WRAL-TV sports anchor/reporter

One of the draws of the Carolina Hurricanes is the hard work and great character of their head coach and players, and how it feels like a family on the ice and not just a collection of guys. So when the 'Canes signed Defenseman Tony Deangelo, someone who has been accused of using racial slurs toward a former teammate in the past, it made some fans question their loyalty to the franchise.

I spoke with one fan, Scott Youngblood, who said he wanted a refund on his season tickets and doesn't see him supporting the organization until Deangelo is no longer signed. Deangelo himself says he's learned his lesson and has grown from it. This whole situation made me think about a certain time in my life.

Let's take a trip back in time. 1996 in Colfax, North Carolina, right outside of High Point where I grew up.

It was the summer before my 5th grade year and my mom enrolled my younger sister and I in a summer day camp to occupy us while her and my dad were working during the day.

My sister and I were maybe 2 of 5 total Black children out of maybe 115 kids. That was nothing new to us growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood and also attending a predominantly white school. But then, something happened that I had never experienced, and something I thought wasn't even possible in the 90's.

I was called the N-word by a fellow camper.

Why?

We were playing dodgeball. Both of us were on the same team going for the same loose ball, running at an angle where we didn't see each other. We collided and it hurt. Bad. My first instinct was that this was an accident. 'I didn't see him, maybe he didn't see me,' I thought.

Then he said it. Kids laughed.

My mom grew up in Danville, Virginia and my dad wasn't too far away in Yanceyville, North Carolina. They were about 8 or 9 when schools were integrated in their areas, where they would also hear racial slurs and endure other problems rooted in racism.

Back in Colfax, I was 10 years old, and somehow colliding full speed with someone else didn't hurt as much as feeling like I went through just a piece of what my parents went through in the late 60's, but in the mid-90's.

I wept. Hard. I always thought if that happened to me, I'd defend myself physically. But when the moment happened, I just couldn't believe that someone I got along with decided to yell that at me over an accident that wasn't anyone's fault.

He didn't get in trouble with counselors because "it was in the heat of the moment" and "kids will be kids."

A few days before that something else happened. I was sitting next to a girl I had befriended in the gym. On the other side, another boy sat next to her and said, "Why are you sitting next to him? He's black."

Those are scars that I will wear forever, but scars no one can see when they look at me. I never felt so low as a person over something I couldn't control, which is my skin color. I had thought that racism died as my parents were becoming preteens. Little did I know, that summer would kick off the first of many overt forms of racism I'd face in my life, although covert racism happens more frequently (this will be important later).

Fast forward to July 28th, 2021 when the Carolina Hurricanes signed Deangelo. When he was asked about his transgressions he said it happened, "in the heat of the moment", and that he's grown from it.

Excuse me while I sigh.

One of the best lessons I've learned in my life is to not even begin to form thoughts of hate because it will come out "in the heat of the moment". Although I'm not sure Deangelo, or the 'Canes, have done anything to reassure fans that Deangelo is not the same person that could spew racial slurs, I am sure that at some point in his life, Deangelo said those same slurs in his head, or in 'safe spaces', before he ever said it to that teammate. If we're honest with ourselves, we know that's how it works. Everyone has said things they don't mean, but everyone has said those things to themselves before it was said out loud.

So Deangelo saying he's moved forward and he's learned from those mistakes rings hollow, unless he comes to Raleigh and is perfect. Literally, he has to be perfect. And even then, I'm not sure if he'll live that down.

I'm not sure what ever happened with the boy who called me that word since my mom pulled my sister and I out of that camp after the incident, but I'm not sure he ever truly learned his lesson. He may have just learned to not say "that word" out loud. Which doesn't fix the problem, because he may still feel that way silently everyday.

That's why fans are upset with the Deangelo signing. He can say the right things, he can go to counseling, he can do all the great PR moves. But did he learn to not be racist or did he learn to be silent in his racism? Only time will tell.

I don't blame hockey fans for being upset with this signing. Tony Deangelo verbalized his racism. But I'll leave you something to think about: How many out there are supporting him in silence because they know not to verbalize their hate and feel bad for Deangelo? And, how does that silent racism alienate fans, teammates, staff, etc of other races who know they're getting treated differently, but they don't have a 'word' to point to?

Oddly enough, I guess it took a few of the right words for him to find a job in the NHL.

Words ring hollow. I, along with a few others, will be looking at Deangelo's actions because it may give us insight into his thoughts.